Re: I Made it okay

From: Susie
Email:
Date: 6/27/2001
Time: 8:49:48 AM
Remote Name: 63.14.83.92

Comments

I'm glad to hear you're taking advantage of all the "beauty" and "adventures" offered to us. You mentioned how interesting it is , after having been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, that you enjoy everything you do so fully. I am always impressed when I read/hear others say this. I was diagnosed about a year ago, disease progressed to SAA last Jan, and was treated at beginning of Feb. I, unfortunately, am not yet able to capture that wonderful, positive attitude. Don't get me wrong. I do quite well emotionally, I think. But I actually have a difficult time enjoying certain things because of the sadness of the realization that I may NOT be around for long to continue to enjoy it. I don't know if this makes any sense. I am hoping with time I will be able to "savor" each moment. At this point I feel "paralized", sometimes, by this dumb disease. If I am doing something enjoyable, subconsciously I'm feeling sad because it may be taken away from me. So, congratulations to those of you who are so strong! I think it is wonderful. The most "beautiful" thing in my life is the time I spend with my sweet, little 20-month old daughter. I'm a stay-home mom now, and LOVE/CHERISH every moment with her. She always makes me smile. Continued best wishes to everyone! Susie, 35 SAA jan '01 ATG/cyclo/pred/MMF Feb '01 Hoping for continued response/white cell line still LOW