| The grieving process usually consists of the following
stages. Note that not everyone goes through all these stages and is very
typical to go back and forth even in the span of a few hours. I
personally bounce back and forth between anger, acceptance and hope a
lot. Stop by the Quotes Page for some real
live encouragement.
Denial and Shock
At first, it may be difficult for you to accept your illness or that
of a loved one. As a result you will deny the reality of the illness.
However, this denial will gradually diminish as you begins to express and
share your feelings about it with others.
Anger
During this stage the most common question asked is "why me?".
You are angry at what you perceive to be the unfairness of it all and you
may project and displace your anger unto others. When given some social
support and respect, you will eventually become less angry and able to
move into the next stage of grieving.
Bargaining
Many patients try to bargain with some sort of diety. They probably try to
bargain and offer to give up an enjoyable part of their lives in exchange
for the return of health or the ill person.
Guilt
You may find yourself feeling guilty for things you did or didn't do prior
to the illness. Forgive yourself. Accept your humanness.
Depression
You may at first experience a sense of great loss. Mood fluctuations and
feelings of isolation and withdrawal may follow. It takes time for you,
the grieving person, to gradually return to your old self and become
socially involved in what's going on around you.
Please note that encouragement and reassurance to the patient will not
be helpful in this stage.
Loneliness
As you go through changes in your social life because of the illness, you
may feel lonely and afraid. The more you are able to reach out to others
and make new friends, the more this feeling lessens.
Acceptance
Acceptance does not mean happiness. Instead you accept and deal with the
reality of the situation.
Hope
Eventually you will reach a point where remembering will be less painful
and you can begin to look ahead to the future and more good times.
Ways to Cope with AA and other Illnesses
- Discuss feelings such as loneliness, anger, and sadness openly and
honestly with others
- Maintain hope and encourage it within others
- If your religious convictions are important to you, talk to a member
of the clergy about your beliefs and feelings
- Join a support group
- Take good care of yourself. Eat well-balanced meals. Get plenty of
rest.
- Be patient with yourself. It takes time to heal. Some days will be
better than others.
- Visit the Quotes Page at this website for
inspiration from fellow patients and family members.
Adapted from http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/coping.shtml |
